Kelangan pa ba ng closure ang isang relasyon na di malinaw from the start?
My BFF Girl, one time YM nya ako sabi nya " I need closure". Ha? kanino eh alam ko walang jowa ito since birth? "Kanino naman ito makikipag closure?". Naalala ko meron kaming tinutukso sa kanya na "dabarkadz" din namin nung high school (hayz! history na itetch!). Katutukso namin, siguro nadevelop sila sa isa't isa. Na umabot sa point nagkaka-ilangan na sila sa isa't isa, ang dating pure friendship, nagkaroon na ng malisya. Nahahalata na rin ng barkada, dahil kanilang body language na para silang MU. Pero no one confirmed from both of them. Walang umamin, wala rin denial... kase wala naman gusto magtanong... so leave there as it is! there's a saying nga na "what you see, is what you get". Me ganun pa????? hehehe (showbizzzz!)
And now, how can you ask for a closure for that kind of relationship? Siguro sa part lang ng girl kaya she needs closure:
There was a time that she is still emotionally attached)....Hindi clear ang kanilang relasyon. Ano ba talaga sila? One time nagtipon tipon ang barkada, ugali na ng barkada na tuksuhin sila. parang ang naging reaction ng BFF Boy "WALA YUN". Oucchhhhh! It hurts! para sa BFF Girl. Wala yun? Wala lang yun? Parang all the while she thought they had "something" tapos wala pala talaga sa kanya yun. All these years, she have waited and believed na meron. She assumed that, he likes her more that a friend.... hindi na important kung ano man yung pinanggalingan ng assumption ni BFF Girl but she really thought na "meron"... there were times in the past that she spent some time thinking about the possibility of their having a relationship... Ang big question in her mind now is Meron ba talagang basis ung assumption na yun?
She just felt that along the way (after that “thing” happened), it sets a pattern to her lovelife/relationships or whatever you may call it . Dahil sa nangyari, BFF Girl nagtatanong siya sa sarili nya na "Hindi ba sya worthy to be loved?". and "She is not good enough as a person kase wala daw lalaki that stood up for her puro lang MU's". Take note: PURO lang MU meaning meron naman umaligid aligid sa sa kanya . He’s not the only one! Of course there are others who in one way or another turned her life around; made some bad days a little sunny, put a smile to her face, and give her energy after a tiring day… but none of them went into something real. All went down the drain. After a lot of thinking, she decided to de-clutter her mind with a lot of questions that has been there for a long time . Nag plan siya para makausap yung BFF Guy hindi dahil gusto nya pa yung BFF Guy, but it's more of figuring out what was wrong with her, ask his help understanding what went wrong during those times and have that closure as well, para once and for all – have that clarity in her mind what really happened in the past.
"The so called "relationship" was brought from peer pressure of dabarkadz". He was single then and so as she, it seems like a good idea at that time, so he thought about it, made some move, she picks up the signs… and then the complexity of the world happen… "He was still in college then... and BFF girl is already working na, What would that make him? May sugar mommy? kaya nag decide na lang yung BFF Guy na friends na lang daw muna sila, kaya daw di nya ni pursue. Si BFF Girl nag assume, si BFF Boy nag alangan? Hayyyyyz....
The moral lesson of this story, tayong babae wag tayo mag assume kase at the end of the day tayo rin ang masasaktan, don't afraid to ask or make a move to confirm what's going on between the two of you. Kase ang mga lalaki di pare pareho yan me natotorpe meron din nahihiya ipahayag yung feelings nila. We should treat them fair like a woman, if nahihiya ang babae ganun din ang lalaki, kung nasasaktan ang babae nasasaktan din sila (mas lalo pa). Old Rule!!!! Isn't that too manipulative? Kung magpapatali tayo sa "norms" na nakagisnan natin, hayyyyyzzz tatanda kang dalaga, or kung hindi man palpak ang makukuha mapapangasawa, believe me. Hintayin mo na lang ang lalaki ang gumawa ng paraan? Pano kung wala rin siyang ginawa? Maghihitay ka na lang ba, like yung nangyari ke BFF Girl? Naghintay siya sa kawalan, in the long run siya din ang nag suffer. Kaya if you feel something strange "Girl, do your part and make your move". Wala naman masama kung ikaw ang mag initiate, if maturn off sau yung guy sa ginawa mo, so what??? Di mo siya kawalan. E di nalaman mo na di sya worth it para sa sayo, kase dun pa nga lang di ka na nya tanggap much more dun sa mga BIG issues sa buhay mo.... so from the start pa lang alam mo na di siya mature maghandle ng relationship, walang masyado bearing kase wala ka pa naman na invest masyado na feelings, and i'm sure you will find the RIGHT man who will love you of what you are.
Finally, my BFF girl now after nya kausapin, confront, make her move etc. to BFF Guy, whatever u may call it. What does the closure brought about to her? She have found new strength within.Sabi nga nya " Now she feels more open and liberated! (hindi naman sya naging pokpok) hahahaha. And now I'm happy for her, na kahit papano naka contribute ako ng lakas ng loob nya gawin yun mga bagay na dati di nya kayang gawin...Mabuhay si Gelai!!!!
Every closure on everything is very important, especially when comes to closing a relationship. once the love that you feel already fades away, there's no reason and excuses at all to still be with that person. After all, the magic is gone. Never force a feeling that you could'nt feel anymore. But it is not right to just leave that person confused and hanging by a thread leaving him/her no clue on what's the real status of your relationship is..
My BFF Girl, one time YM nya ako sabi nya " I need closure". Ha? kanino eh alam ko walang jowa ito since birth? "Kanino naman ito makikipag closure?". Naalala ko meron kaming tinutukso sa kanya na "dabarkadz" din namin nung high school (hayz! history na itetch!). Katutukso namin, siguro nadevelop sila sa isa't isa. Na umabot sa point nagkaka-ilangan na sila sa isa't isa, ang dating pure friendship, nagkaroon na ng malisya. Nahahalata na rin ng barkada, dahil kanilang body language na para silang MU. Pero no one confirmed from both of them. Walang umamin, wala rin denial... kase wala naman gusto magtanong... so leave there as it is! there's a saying nga na "what you see, is what you get". Me ganun pa????? hehehe (showbizzzz!)
And now, how can you ask for a closure for that kind of relationship? Siguro sa part lang ng girl kaya she needs closure:
There was a time that she is still emotionally attached)....Hindi clear ang kanilang relasyon. Ano ba talaga sila? One time nagtipon tipon ang barkada, ugali na ng barkada na tuksuhin sila. parang ang naging reaction ng BFF Boy "WALA YUN". Oucchhhhh! It hurts! para sa BFF Girl. Wala yun? Wala lang yun? Parang all the while she thought they had "something" tapos wala pala talaga sa kanya yun. All these years, she have waited and believed na meron. She assumed that, he likes her more that a friend.... hindi na important kung ano man yung pinanggalingan ng assumption ni BFF Girl but she really thought na "meron"... there were times in the past that she spent some time thinking about the possibility of their having a relationship... Ang big question in her mind now is Meron ba talagang basis ung assumption na yun?
She just felt that along the way (after that “thing” happened), it sets a pattern to her lovelife/relationships or whatever you may call it . Dahil sa nangyari, BFF Girl nagtatanong siya sa sarili nya na "Hindi ba sya worthy to be loved?". and "She is not good enough as a person kase wala daw lalaki that stood up for her puro lang MU's". Take note: PURO lang MU meaning meron naman umaligid aligid sa sa kanya . He’s not the only one! Of course there are others who in one way or another turned her life around; made some bad days a little sunny, put a smile to her face, and give her energy after a tiring day… but none of them went into something real. All went down the drain. After a lot of thinking, she decided to de-clutter her mind with a lot of questions that has been there for a long time . Nag plan siya para makausap yung BFF Guy hindi dahil gusto nya pa yung BFF Guy, but it's more of figuring out what was wrong with her, ask his help understanding what went wrong during those times and have that closure as well, para once and for all – have that clarity in her mind what really happened in the past.
"The so called "relationship" was brought from peer pressure of dabarkadz". He was single then and so as she, it seems like a good idea at that time, so he thought about it, made some move, she picks up the signs… and then the complexity of the world happen… "He was still in college then... and BFF girl is already working na, What would that make him? May sugar mommy? kaya nag decide na lang yung BFF Guy na friends na lang daw muna sila, kaya daw di nya ni pursue. Si BFF Girl nag assume, si BFF Boy nag alangan? Hayyyyyz....
The moral lesson of this story, tayong babae wag tayo mag assume kase at the end of the day tayo rin ang masasaktan, don't afraid to ask or make a move to confirm what's going on between the two of you. Kase ang mga lalaki di pare pareho yan me natotorpe meron din nahihiya ipahayag yung feelings nila. We should treat them fair like a woman, if nahihiya ang babae ganun din ang lalaki, kung nasasaktan ang babae nasasaktan din sila (mas lalo pa). Old Rule!!!! Isn't that too manipulative? Kung magpapatali tayo sa "norms" na nakagisnan natin, hayyyyyzzz tatanda kang dalaga, or kung hindi man palpak ang makukuha mapapangasawa, believe me. Hintayin mo na lang ang lalaki ang gumawa ng paraan? Pano kung wala rin siyang ginawa? Maghihitay ka na lang ba, like yung nangyari ke BFF Girl? Naghintay siya sa kawalan, in the long run siya din ang nag suffer. Kaya if you feel something strange "Girl, do your part and make your move". Wala naman masama kung ikaw ang mag initiate, if maturn off sau yung guy sa ginawa mo, so what??? Di mo siya kawalan. E di nalaman mo na di sya worth it para sa sayo, kase dun pa nga lang di ka na nya tanggap much more dun sa mga BIG issues sa buhay mo.... so from the start pa lang alam mo na di siya mature maghandle ng relationship, walang masyado bearing kase wala ka pa naman na invest masyado na feelings, and i'm sure you will find the RIGHT man who will love you of what you are.
Finally, my BFF girl now after nya kausapin, confront, make her move etc. to BFF Guy, whatever u may call it. What does the closure brought about to her? She have found new strength within.Sabi nga nya " Now she feels more open and liberated! (hindi naman sya naging pokpok) hahahaha. And now I'm happy for her, na kahit papano naka contribute ako ng lakas ng loob nya gawin yun mga bagay na dati di nya kayang gawin...Mabuhay si Gelai!!!!
Every closure on everything is very important, especially when comes to closing a relationship. once the love that you feel already fades away, there's no reason and excuses at all to still be with that person. After all, the magic is gone. Never force a feeling that you could'nt feel anymore. But it is not right to just leave that person confused and hanging by a thread leaving him/her no clue on what's the real status of your relationship is..
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Mmm... CLOSURE - It refers to a conclusion to a traumatic event or experience in a person's life. Tagalugin ko pa ba?. haha!. ito ung mga katanungan mo sa sarili mo na dapat may mga kasagutan especially talking about love and relationship.
Na experience ko na din ito last year lang may gf ako actually friend ko siya, kaso ayun nang iwan nalang sa ere. Well, naging kami naman for three weeks! hahaha. Ang simpleng tampuhan ay nauwi sa hindi na pagkikibuan at pansinan. Sabi pa nga nya mag-uusap kami kapag magkkita kami, kaso simula't sapol hanggang ngayon wala!.. haha! So ayun walang CLOSURE sa amin! pero for me hindi mo na kelangan ng CLOSURE! kasi malalaman mo na un eh kung CASE CLOSE or CASE UNCLOSED, teka movie ata un ah?. Ganito nalang siguro, if matagal na wala kau communication! umpisahan mo na mag move on, kasi for me CASE CLOSE na. mhirap naman umasa kung may babalikan ka pa or may hihintayin.. Diba Diba?!. Masuwerte ka na kung may CLOSURE! pero as ngaun di na uso yan! haha.. Kasi karamihan ng lalaki takot! magsabi ng CASE CLOSE!.
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psst ang haba haba ng comment ko kanina iba pala settings mo hmmp...shocks kainis...well eto sya...after ng pag babasa ko ng napakahaba mong blog well MU's ganun talaga ( proven and tested) na mag aasume talaga ang girl dahil un eh bilang pag response mo lang sa pinapakita ng guy sa yo... ang ginagawa lang dun pag nakita mo na ok na kayo at nasa peak na kinikilig ka na at me kumukutikutitap sa mga mata mo gawa ka na ng way para ma fall sa yo ung guy lalo heheh... ung maayos na way ha... in my opinion maybe di masyadng na nourish ung feelings ng bff guy sa bff girl kaya di natuloy un kase need nyo pareho ma work out.. pro if that's the case kung ayw na ng bff guy..u have to move on na nga no closure in the first place mutual understanding meaning wala kayong commitment sa isa't isa... kaya un ang risk nun...mama gelai isa pang topic hehehhe
I agree to some of her points but i just want to tap everyones minds. So, the question is - is closure only needed to those by-the-book kind of relationship (meaning official bf-gf)? Don't we consider MU also a kind of relationship? remember, there's feeling involved...
hi anonymous, MU ? yes, there's a feeling involved but there's no commitment at all. kaya from the start pa lang ng "relationship" alam mo na where u stand. In short "wala kang karapatan" baket pa kase nauso ang MU MU na yan eh... parang friendster "it's complicated" hehehe
korek k jan jeff! kase kayo mga lalaki... kau talaga ipinanganak na duwag... hehehe
To me, if someone leaves you without any clue and without communication at all? Its time for you to move on. This stuff only means that you two are no longer together...
i think to you guys, it's just as easy as that no? make everything easy for you... leave someone without a clue and without any communication at all... expecting that that someone will just forget it the same way you do.. how comfortable for you.
@gelai - yeah, probably make that stand early on so you wont get hurt anymore.. hope your friend learned that lesson na =), maybe you can tell her as well that new found freedom is good...and maybe next time around.. there's someone out there will be worth of all the effort =)
@ jeff.. "CLOSURE - It refers to a conclusion to a traumatic event or experience in a person's life."
with this definition, makes it logical for me how gelai's friend clamor for that closure even if the relationship is just MU. Well for one - she wants conclusion from a traumatic experience... it may not be an official bf-gf relationship but there's a huge impact on her life. She is just taking control of her life...